[he knows he should shake her off. that he should be putting distance between himself and this hallucination. and yet he finds himself doing the exact opposite, body slumping forward so he can rest against her. can wrap his arms round a body who he'd last held as it'd bled out. as she'd died in his arms--
a choking sound escapes him as he gives up the fight. as he end up with his face buried against her neck, tears falling freely as he holds on to her with a level of desperation that he hasn't shown in years. it's a bad idea, the worst idea, to let himself fall victim to this. but with no one around to bear witness to it, he can't help but give in to his own weakness.]
I'm sorry. [for not being able to hold it together long enough to walk away from this moment. for not being quick enough. for failing her. it was his job to keep her safe. to find a way to stop savitar. he didn't deserve her, deserve her trust. not when he destroyed it all so easily.]
no subject
a choking sound escapes him as he gives up the fight. as he end up with his face buried against her neck, tears falling freely as he holds on to her with a level of desperation that he hasn't shown in years. it's a bad idea, the worst idea, to let himself fall victim to this. but with no one around to bear witness to it, he can't help but give in to his own weakness.]
I'm sorry. [for not being able to hold it together long enough to walk away from this moment. for not being quick enough. for failing her. it was his job to keep her safe. to find a way to stop savitar. he didn't deserve her, deserve her trust. not when he destroyed it all so easily.]